Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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