What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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A storm be brewin!

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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