What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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The FCC

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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