Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

Knock knock. Come right on in.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...