Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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