How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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