A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops