Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

 

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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