How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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Hello.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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