So a seal walks into a club.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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