what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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