Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Knock knock, COME IN!

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...