what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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what has genitial warts? me

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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