Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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