What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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One time i was sitting down

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops