what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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