Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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What is the difference?

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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a man makes a bad joke

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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