Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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The cream, it is coming

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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