How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops