When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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123 f*ck off

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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