Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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