What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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69

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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AIDS

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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