A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops