A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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