roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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What's white and gluey Glue

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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