if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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