why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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