Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops