What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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