What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

What do you call two dog? dogs

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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