What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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France had one revolution

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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TOP KEK

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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