Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops