Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops