Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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women rights

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops