What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...