Why was the man sad? His wife left

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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