If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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