your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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a man was shot.... he died

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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