An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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How do you end a sentence

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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