What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

What's old and wrinkly? old people

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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