Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What stops a train? A missile

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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