Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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taking out the trash... at night

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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a man makes a bad joke

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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