when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Ebola

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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