What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops