Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops