What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

What hurts like hell? HELL

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

What stops a train? A missile

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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