What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops