Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Your gay

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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