What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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