What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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