Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

thumb_up thumb_down

what goes boo a sock

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

thumb_up thumb_down

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock It's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops