Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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what did the farmer do? plant

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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the bible

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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