How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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