why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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